Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a leader (or friend) provided you with great advice, yet seemed unable to follow their own guidance when facing similar challenges?

Thousands of years ago King Solomon ruled the land of Israel. He was considered a wise man and people from afar would come to him to seek his counsel and advice. His insights and judgment were the best in the land. However, when it came to his own life, it was filled with problems. He was obsessed with self-indulgence and flaunting his wealth, had over 1,000 wives and concubines, and was not able to properly raise his own son to be heir to the throne.

How is it that some leaders are so great at being objective and giving other people advice and guidance, yet they struggle when it comes to their own lives? We all struggle with this, especially leaders, because we are so immersed in a situation and experience.

This is known as Solomon’s paradox.

One of the amazing researchers and psychologists I had the privilege of speaking with when I was doing research for my book, Leading With Vulnerability, is Ethan Kross, who wrote the best-selling book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It. He discovered something fascinating about how we talk to ourselves.

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