It is said that there is no great sign of love and respect that you can show someone then listening to them.
But… listening and hearing are not the same thing.
Hearing is simply the unconscious act of letting sound enter your ear. It require no focus, no attention, and no effort on your end.
Listening on the other is quite the opposite. It is conscious and purposeful and does require your attention, focus, and effort.
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We have all experienced those conversations where you are speaking with someone but you can tell that they are mentally not there. They are hearing your but they aren’t listening.
Consider the scenario of an employee going to a leader for help or guidance where the employee can tell that the leader isn’t actually listening to them. Think about what that will do to their morale, their confidence, and their engagement, it’s crushing.
With all the technology and distractions we have today, it’s crucial for us to be able to take a step back and really listen to what’s being said. As automation and AI become more prevalent at work, listening is a distinctly human attribute that sets us apart. Robots and technology might be able to hear, but they can’t truly listen.
How do you move from hearing to really listening? Here are three tips:
Practice active listening
Most people can tell when someone is actually listening to them and when they’re distracted and not really paying attention. To practice active listening, eliminate any distractions. Put your phone down, step away from the computer, or go into a quiet room. Make eye contact with the person speaking and show you’re paying attention and interested in what they’re saying. Active listening turns a conversation into a collaboration, not just a one-way street. This means asking follow up questions and focusing on verbal and non-verbal queues which let the other person know you are right there with them.
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Try to apply and understand
Shift your mindset to try to find value in what each person says. When you listen to understand, you start to see things from their point of view and can have your horizons expanded. Really focus on how you can understand and apply what the person is saying. The extra effort will increase how well you remember the conversation details in the future and make you a better listener. A part of this is practicing empathy where you try to remember a time when you felt a similar way or experienced a similar situation.
Focus on more than just your response
Many of us fall into the trap of focusing on what we’re going to say next instead of actually listening to the person speaking. I certainly fall into this trap in my personal life! We’re thinking of a counterargument or a point that will make us look good instead of actually focusing on what’s being said and perhaps more important why it’s being said to begin with. If you need to respond to something, set those thoughts aside for a few minutes and focus on just actively listening to the speaker. Then take a few minutes after the conversation to gather your thoughts and craft a response. When you do, also make sure to focus on the issue not on the person.
The old saying, “Hearing is through the ears, listening is through the mind” has never been more true. To thrive in the future, organizations need to stay human, and that starts with employees and leaders who focus on the uniquely human attribute of listening. Listening instead of just hearing turns you into a better employee, leader, and individual. Put these tips into action to stop hearing and start listening.
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Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay
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