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You’ve been there. You say something in a meeting you think is helpful, only to be met with silence. A well-intentioned comment gets misread. A moment of vulnerability doesn’t land the way you hoped. Now what?
Most leaders freeze, backpedal, or avoid it altogether. But that’s where most leaders miss the opportunity. Because the most powerful leadership move often comes after the moment goes sideways.
In this episode, we’ll dive into a surprising insight from psychology that reveals why some people thrive under pressure and others spiral into stress—and how it all connects to a single, underused leadership skill: the follow-up.
Drawing from fascinating research on athletes, subjective vs. objective performance, and personal stories, we’ll unpack why the ability to check back in, clarify, and course-correct may be one of the most underrated tools in your leadership arsenal.
Listen to the episode here on Apple Podcast & leave a review!
Leadership Isn’t a Sprint—It’s a Gymnastics Routine
One of the most eye-opening conversations I had was with psychologist Thomas Gilovich. His research explored the psychological toll on athletes in two different types of sports: objective (like sprinting, where the winner is clear) and subjective (like figure skating or gymnastics, where a panel of judges determines the outcome).
Unsurprisingly, athletes in subjective sports reported higher levels of stress and anxiety. Not because they lacked skill, but because success was tied to how others perceived them.
That insight is directly applicable to leadership. Leading people is not about crossing a finish line and being handed a medal. Leadership is a subjective sport. You’re not operating in a world of absolutes. You’re in a world where tone, timing, body language, and intention all shape how your actions are received. That means the work doesn’t end when you send the email or say the thing. That’s just the beginning.
And that’s exactly where the concept of following up becomes essential.
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HR just changed for good with the introduction of Human Intelligence™.
By combining AI and the uniquely authentic data of Workhuman’s #1 rated employee recognition platform, Human Intelligence reveals previously unobtainable insights into skills, performance, culture and more. Human Intelligence also helps coach employees on what good peer-to-peer recognition looks like, turning every “good job” into better engagement, retention, and wellbeing. And it helps surface feel-good stories that illustrate the best of your company culture.
Want to learn more? Human Intelligence at Workhuman.com, and join their force for good
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The Hidden Power of Following Up
So what happens when you share something vulnerable—or make a bold statement—and it doesn’t land the way you hoped?
Most people panic or shut down. But the best leaders follow up.
They reach out afterward and say things like:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking about what I said earlier. I just want to make sure it came across the way I intended.”
It sounds simple, but that small move changes everything. It turns a potentially awkward moment into a meaningful conversation. It shows emotional intelligence. It shows that you care not just about what you said but about how it was received.
This is especially important when you’re trying to lead with vulnerability. Vulnerability isn’t about perfectly scripted moments. It’s about realness. And realness sometimes means things get misunderstood. That’s where the follow-up comes in.
The Two Paths of Vulnerability
In my book, I created a simple visual that explains this concept. Imagine you’re leading with vulnerability, maybe you share a personal story or admit a mistake, and the reaction isn’t what you expected. At that moment, you have two paths:
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Do nothing. Let the awkwardness sit there. Hope it blows over. But it doesn’t. Now the other person is confused or uncomfortable. You’re second-guessing yourself. Trust erodes.
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Follow up. Circle back. Ask a question. Clarify your intention. Learn how your message was received. Adjust, improve, and move forward with more clarity and connection.
The second path takes more courage, but it leads to growth for both sides.
Listen to the episode here on Apple Podcast & leave a review!
Don’t Let Silence Speak For You
I’ve had plenty of moments where I’ve said something that didn’t come out right at work, at home, in relationships. You can feel it in the moment. The energy shifts. And instead of just stewing in that discomfort, I’ve learned to ask:
“Hey, did that come across weird?”
“I noticed something felt off—did I say something that upset you?”
Nine times out of ten, it’s just a misunderstanding. But without the follow-up, it could’ve turned into resentment, confusion, or even a broken relationship.
That’s the thing—most relationships don’t fall apart because of big betrayals. They fall apart because of small misalignments that go unaddressed.
Your Leadership Legacy Is in the Follow-Up
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: leadership isn’t about getting everything right the first time. It’s about being willing to go back, clean up the mess, and keep learning. The follow-up is where connection is rebuilt, where understanding is clarified, where growth happens.
So next time you feel like something didn’t quite hit the mark—don’t retreat. Don’t assume the door is closed. Reach out. Ask. Clarify. Connect.
That one move might just be what separates a good leader from a great one.
…
HR just changed for good with the introduction of Human Intelligence™.
By combining AI and the uniquely authentic data of Workhuman’s #1 rated employee recognition platform, Human Intelligence reveals previously unobtainable insights into skills, performance, culture and more. Human Intelligence also helps coach employees on what good peer-to-peer recognition looks like, turning every “good job” into better engagement, retention, and wellbeing. And it helps surface feel-good stories that illustrate the best of your company culture.
Want to learn more? Human Intelligence at Workhuman.com, and join their force for good
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Listen to the full episode here and learn how you can apply the follow-up in your own leadership journey: